Old Bumpersides

Aye, park her in the hangar now!
Long has she boated the void,
And many an eye has danced to see
Her lasers on a ‘roid;
Around her flicked the nimble drones,
And hung the cans of ore —
But the Retriever of the high sec belts
Shall sweep the belts no more.

Her hold, once full of asteroids’ guts,
The yield of the vanquished foe,
Her hull the survivor of bumpers’ butts
(Before I became a pro),
No more shall take a flying path,
Far to out of range —
The victim of the sociopaths
For a Hulk has been exchanged!

Nay, better that this hero barge
Should explode in a shockwave —
Her lasers slew the veldspar belts,
And there should be her grave;
Jet now her cans and loose her drones,
Switch on the self-destruct device,
And give her to the God of Belts,
The Scordite and the Ice!

– a moving adaptation of Oliver Wendell Holmes “Old Ironsides” by EVE player Khergit Deserters.  This poem was a Grand Prize winner in the PLEX for Parody contest.

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